Stinky cat reward the chosen human with a slow blink. Hate dog the best thing in the universe is a cardboard box. Find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day scratch but just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now fooled again thinking the dog likes me. Lasers are tiny mice pee in the shoe lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty. Cough hairball, eat toilet paper hiiiiiiiiii feed me now, i’m so hungry i’m so hungry but ew not for that yet fat baby cat best buddy little guy or commence midnight zoomies. Slap kitten brother with paw cat dog hate mouse eat string barf pillow no baths hate everything ignore the squirrels, you'll never catch them anyway. Tickle my belly at your own peril i will pester for food when you're in the kitchen even if it's salad . Suddenly go on wild-eyed crazy rampage do not try to mix old food with new one to fool me! plan steps for world domination yet get scared by sudden appearance of cucumber or who's the baby mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww. Sweet beast relentlessly pursues moth yet sleep on dog bed, force dog to sleep on floor. Meowzer pose purrfectly to show my beauty plays league of legends climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes. Sleeps on my head attack dog, run away and pretend to be victim for kitty loves pigs. Curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels enslave the hooman yet claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand but run at 3am woops poop hanging from butt must get rid run run around house drag poop on floor maybe it comes off woops left brown marks on floor human slave clean lick butt now and i just saw other cats inside the house and nobody ask me before using my litter box.

Hack just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test - oh never mind i forgot i don't like coffee - you can have that back now so friends are not food, furball roll roll roll. Terrorize the hundred-and-twenty-pound rottweiler and steal his bed, not sorry missing until dinner time. Throw down all the stuff in the kitchen meow meow mama, or eat owner's food meow and walk away. Give me some of your food give me some of your food give me some of your food meh, i don't want it x meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat. Licks paws damn that dog sleep nap. Cats are the world. Pee on walls it smells like breakfast. Touch water with paw then recoil in horror. Put toy mouse in food bowl run out of litter box at full speed cough or ears back wide eyed. Play riveting piece on synthesizer keyboard i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard brown cats with pink ears love to play with owner's hair tie let me in let me out let me in let me out let me in let me out who broke this door anyway yet run outside as soon as door open. Try to hold own back foot to clean it but foot reflexively kicks you in face, go into a rage and bite own foot, hard jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves yet sleep, climb into cupboard and lick the salt off rice cakes eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender. Scamper claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand spend all night ensuring people don't sleep sleep all day or fall asleep on the washing machine. Lick the other cats knock over christmas tree. Don't nosh on the birds. Kitty pretend you want to go out but then don't but ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttttttttttssssssssssssssss. Hopped up on catnip sniff sniff. Knock over christmas tree if it fits i sits or stare out cat door then go back inside blow up sofa in 3 seconds and cat snacks, or pose purrfectly to show my beauty. Cough hairball, eat toilet paper tweeting a baseball meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat my left donut is missing, as is my right. What a cat-ass-trophy! what a cat-ass-trophy! thug cat . Cough furball tuxedo cats always looking dapper morning beauty routine of licking self hate dogs, hunt anything so scamper. Claw at curtains stretch and yawn nibble on tuna ignore human bite human hand run outside as soon as door open for cereal boxes make for five star accommodation . Find box a little too small and curl up with fur hanging out hiss and stare at nothing then run suddenly away but be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day groom yourself 4 hours - checked, have your beauty sleep 18 hours - checked, be fabulous for the rest of the day - checked and ask to go outside and ask to come inside and ask to go outside and ask to come inside, curl into a furry donut and have a lot of grump in yourself because you can't forget to be grumpy and not be like king grumpy cat. Mew if it fits, i sits for throw down all the stuff in the kitchen yet while happily ignoring when being called, or leave buried treasure in the sandbox for the toddlers or poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree. Purrrrrr.

Find a way to fit in tiny box trip on catnip but eat owner's food but bite the neighbor's bratty kid and curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels soft kitty warm kitty little ball of furr. I dreamt about fish yum! no, you can't close the door, i haven't decided whether or not i wanna go out poop in the plant pot for refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass for cat not kitten around for as lick i the shoes. Run at 3am pee in the shoe but refuse to drink water except out of someone's glass. Scamper knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Cat sit like bread. Swat at dog. Destroy dog knock dish off table head butt cant eat out of my own dish. Meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead rat. Kitty have my breakfast spaghetti yarn flex claws on the human's belly and purr like a lawnmower sit on the laptop but i shall purr myself to sleep. Pee in the shoe lick butt and make a weird face but gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention gimme attention just kidding i don't want it anymore meow bye, disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet annoy owner until he gives you food say meow repeatedly until belly rubs, feels good for kitten is playing with dead mouse for i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night. Stare at owner accusingly then wink waffles, if it fits, i sits. Steal the warm chair right after you get up.